new york: pt 1

I love airports. I've never been sure why, but I love them. I love that everywhere has somewhere they're going for some reason I'll never know, but for that moment when I see them our paths have crossed, if only for that brief segment of time. I love boarding planes and I love the feeling of lifting off and flying higher than any building reaches.

This past week, I went on a theatre trip to new york. We left on friday afternoon and arrived friday night. Forgive me if I tell this story in the present tense. It feels as though I could still be there, if I close my eyes.

I am supposed to have a middle seat, but the woman who has the ticket for the wall doesn't want to sit there, so I offered to move over. I have a blank stretch of wall, but if I squish my face up between the wall and seat of the woman in front of me I can catch sections of the airport tarmac and welcoming sky through her window. The take off is smooth, and anticipation flutters in my chest with the lurch of the plane into the air. I love flying.

There is something spectacular about the sky from above. Looking up at it from the ground it seems rather 2 dimensional, I think; some curved expanse of solid color, perhaps painted with a variety of clouds or stars or winged things. From above, however, it is entirely different. One is immersed in the solid stretch of color, and it becomes a place to exist inside of. We pass above clouds made of pulled apart cotton swabs and they take the form of an undulating pearl-white sea, rippling around the plane. I am in this great metal ship, sailing through this milky ocean that is infinitely more insubstantial than it appears. And we are so used to such technology! My fellow passengers are buried in books or laptops or slumber, unaware or uncaring of the absolute miracle of flying. They close the blinds on their windows and lay back into their synthetic seats just as if we are on a bus rather than a plane. I nod off at some point as well, I will admit, as time drags on with no apparent change in setting and my face develops pressed stripes from the seat against one cheek. From my position it is all but impossible to watch cities come and go on the ground. I find it very difficult to remain alert while the lull of an engine sings the day into dusk, and I sleep through the stewardesses offering complimentary drinks.

When I awake once more it is nighttime. The smooth blue fabric of the sky has been switched out for a more appropriate star-studded black. I squish my face up near to the window to watch our destination approach. From above, new york resembles a child's art project. Swirls and lines of glue and handfuls of glitter. It shines, it really does. Parallel lines of glinting white and red indicate streets, crowded even this late at night. The tiny buildings layer and flash with lit windows. We are still too high to fully appreciate the height of the buildings, but even from this altitude new york bears the humble arrogance of being unapologetically alive. The shining blocks and avenues run right up to the edge of the inky sea and lakes; black glass forcing the city to take a breath. Bridges span the waters with ease, and the skyscrapers bloom and sprout up around us as we approach our landing airport.

I step off the plane into this new city, into this airport with rows of black chairs close together and a wall welcoming us to new york. We walk to luggage claim and it smells of exhaust and rubber with a stale undertone reminiscent of the stagnant air in greyhound bus stations. We step out into the cold evening air and stand on the sidewalk, watching taxis and buses drive by. Everything is falling apart in that beautifully used-through sort of way. Smoke puffs up from some undisclosed space, blowing through cigarette after giant invisible cigarette. Everything is flashing or glinting dully in the moonlight, begging my attention at every turn.

We board this old bus with the most comfortable seats I have ever sat in. I am so empty of food and so full of excitement my insides are churning and dancing.

I am in new york.