kate starter kit™

Have you ever read this blog and thought, "Man! I wanna be more like the pathetic mess that is her!!"? Well look no further because with the Kate Starter Kit™, you can feel like literal human trash in no time! Here's a sneak preview at this revolutionary new product!

Procrasti[kate]or 2000™: With this device, you can do all sorts of fun things, if by "fun things" you mean "watch your academic life spiral out of control while you sit by, helpless"!!! Soon, you'll be able to plan out complicated schedules that enable you to fit all of your homework and/or other activities into healthy span of time, AND THEN have the willpower to do LITERALLY NONE of it until the LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE!!! Wow!!!!!!!!!! This can lead to anxiety, panic attacks, lowered grades, rushing, subpar and hurried essays, a constant feeling of dread, crushing guilt, the lowered expectations of those around you, AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!

The bestseller, Ruining Family Relationships and Moral: For Dummies: This amazing new book has helped many good people who struggle with being a Disappointment To The Family (you know who you are). With just a few simply outlined steps, YOU TOO can become the child your parents never wanted. The results of following the sage guidelines in this book can include fighting with your sibling(s)!, being overcome by crippling jealousy of your sibling(s) who are much better than you will ever be and will lead more attractive and talented and successful lives than you ever could!, continuing to be sarcastic around family members who find it offensive and/or accidentally using it to hurt feelings and turn others against you!(FUN!!), essentially become a human parasite (such as consistently forgetting to do chores and help out, require money for things without having a job and returning the favour in any way, eating food and never making or buying it, forgetting to express gratitude for the many services and material possessions provided for you)!!!, plus basically any other family crippling activity you can think of!

A limited DVD copy of The Constant Threat Of Returning Depression Hanging Over You: The Musical!: Sing and dance along with the main character, Caty, to Tony Award winning numbers such as "So What If I Never Do This Homework Or Follow Through With Any Of My Responsibilities?", "I Don't Matter At All", "We All Have Unhealthy Body Image Issues, Get Over Yourself", "Crying In My Closet Is My New Favourite Hobby", "Who Needs Friends Anyway?", and the classic favourite, "Death Is Inevitable". It's fun for the whole family! Unless you've already read Ruining Family Relationships and Moral: For Dummies, in which case it's fun for the whole family (separately!).

And these are just a few examples of the many amazing things included in the Kate Starter Kit™!!!!!! So call today and start living YOUR life the Kate Way!!!!!!!!!!